Should access to pornography be restricted?

In carrying out research for this blog, I was forced to type the words “David Cameron porn” into Google. That’s something I hoped I would never have to do! Fortunately, the results it drudged up related to the latest government ruling on pornography that will force internet users to opt in if they wish to view X-rated material.

The law, which will take effect in 18 months’ time has met with some controversy, with many criticising the ‘nanny state’ mentality at play. Others feel that the lawmakers are naïve and that the ruling won’t prevent those who want to access adult-only sites from doing so. I guess my feeling is that any step towards restricting access to porn is a good one, but that more can certainly be done.

Google search figures show that more people in the UK visit adult-only sites than Facebook and Twitter put together. The data shows that 8.5% of searches were for online pornography, while just 7.3% sought access to social networking websites. Perhaps most worryingly, the study did not include hits from mobile phones or searches for child pornography, which tend to occur on secret networks that are often referred to as the ‘dark internet’.

Meanwhile, another campaign is underway to criminalise porn that appears to simulate rape. While some argue that consumers of pornography are discerning enough to recognise the difference between entertainment and real-life crime, others (like me) feel that rape does not make for suitable entertainment content in any shape or form.

Fiona Elvines, operations co-ordinator at Rape Crisis South London, says: “We see the harm of rape pornography in the ways the material assists in normalising offending for perpetrators, helping them legitimise and strategise their crimes, as well as overcome internal resistance. 

“Evidence shows rapists use rape pornography as part of their deliberate pre-offence preparation. The amended law will make this in itself a crime; a significant step towards primary rape prevention through giving legal grounds for intervening before a sexual offence is committed.”

Now I’m not suggesting that everyone who watches this kind of material is about to go out and re-enact what they have seen, but why watch it at all? I think it’s sad that this legislation is necessary, but it certainly is necessary.

On a lighter note, some good news came in this week on the lads’ mag front with The Co-operative forcing publishers to cover up indecent images using modesty covers. Introduced in response to customer feedback, it hopes the screens will prevent children from being confronted by pictures of scantily clad women during the weekly shop. We hope other stores will follow suit.

Child Eyes, a project that aims to restrict children’s exposure to sexual and violent images, welcomes this decision. However, it recognises that “there is still a lot of work to be done”. A statement from the organisation says: “We need to keep the pressure up to rid the streets of sexual imagery. There is no automatic filter in shops and supermarkets! We are still working hard to make Britain more family-friendly and we need you.”

You can click here to sign a petition making it illegal to display pornography around children, and follow @ChildEyesUK on Twitter for regular updates.

Finally, you can support Sorted magazine. Designed to reach out to men without using sexual imagery, we are thrilled that anti-pornography measures are hitting the headlines and that the general public is eager for protective measures to be introduced.

We know that pornography isn’t going to go away, but we believe that children should be shielded from it. We also believe women should be respected and cherished rather than gawked at and objectified. Finally, we believe men should be offered a better alternative; a magazine that is entertaining but that deals with the real issues of life in an engaging and practical way, for example.

We printed a whopping 40,000 copies of our July-August issue and were able to give away a large proportion of these to many who might not have picked it up otherwise. It would be great if you could support us by buying a one-off copy for a friend, subscribing to the magazine yourself, advertising your business within its pages or by making a donation.

Our September-October edition is about to go to print and are excited about the impact it is going to have! Thanks for all your support.

Are you a manly man or a Motorsexual marvel?

When I’m not working on Sorted magazine, I can often be found putting together news stories for financial firms. As I foraged for inspiration this week, I found three stories that grabbed my attention.

Although finance-focused, these snippets challenged some of the stereotypes we have of ‘manly’ men in the UK. I think they’ll grab yours too – particularly if you carry a manbag, own a bottle of fake tan or hate DIY.

Motorsexual Men risk lives behind the wheel

While attractive women, beautiful views and Facebook can prove distracting for some male drivers, recent research suggests a new danger is on the horizon for men behind the wheel.

Obsessing over a hairdo, applying fake tan and posing are the most common causes of near-crashes among ‘Motorsexual Men’.

According to the More Than research, vanity-obsessed male motorists have caused an estimated 2.2 million accidents on the roads in the last 12 months. On average, a vanity-related crash results in £653.20 damage to the Motorsexual Man's car.

Whether styling their hair (23%), inspecting their complexion (19%), pouting and posing (15%) or checking the brightness of their pearly whites (10%), the rear view mirror is a hazard zone for male drivers.

Furthermore, an estimated 1.3 million Motorsexual Men regularly apply facial moisturiser, fake tan and even male foundation when in control of a moving vehicle.

Around 2.9 million male drivers check out their reflections between five and ten times in the space of a single 30-minute car journey. With roughly 4.8 seconds taken up each time they do so, male motorists could be spending up to 48 seconds with their eyes fixed on themselves rather than the road.

Matt Pernet at More Than commented: "We've heard a number of cautionary tales of women trying to apply make-up when driving, but until now men fawning over their own appearance behind the wheel was an unexplored area.

“This research shows that Motorsexual Men are significant in their numbers and are putting their safety and the safety of others at risk by valuing the importance of their own reflection over that of the road ahead."

What do you keep in your manbag?

Almost two-thirds of men carry a ‘manbag’ at least some of the time, and because men are four times more likely than women to carry expensive iPads, tablets and laptops in their bags, the precious manbag could be putting men at risk of theft.

Around 18% of men listed a tablet or laptop as their most valuable item as opposed to just 4% of women, but the high value does not stop them from carrying these items around in the beloved manbag.

Meanwhile, the Nationwide research suggests not all of the lost or stolen possessions were of significant material value. Unusual items stolen from people's bags include: a flag from the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations, an anorak, a blood donor card, hearing aids and a wetsuit. Items highlighted as most valuable by those surveyed included a kitten, a harmonica, secateurs and the manbag or handbag itself.

Martyn Dyson, Nationwide's head of general insurance, said: "People very often are unaware of how much valuable property they carry with them, especially given the increasing popularity of expensive smartphones, tablets and laptops.”

Home improvements or household headaches?

New research suggests very few men actually enjoy doing DIY. However, while less than 25% find it a pleasurable experience, around 75% say they would rather do it themselves than pay a professional tradesperson.

Around 6% say they would try to install their own boiler or double glazing to save money.

The Checkatrade survey showed that, on average, men in the UK plan to spend just over £4,000 on DIY over the next 12 months, and the most likely DIY project to be undertaken is redecorating. Interestingly, men in Sheffield are almost six times more likely to redecorate than those in Southampton.

If money were no object, a quarter of men would opt for a new bathroom or kitchen, although almost 50% believe an extension would add more value to their home.

Checkatrade managing director, Kevin Byrne, warns: “DIY is a tempting option, especially with the country in recession and bank holidays approaching. But be careful not to take on a job that really demands a skilled professional, otherwise it could cost more in the long run.”

Are you a Motorsexual man? Or do you consider yourself the absolute definition of masculinity? Feel free to share your stories/experiences in the comments below. And if you do carry a manbag, make sure it's got a copy of Sorted in it!

Pluck of the Irish

I read a story this week that warmed my heart, although it didn’t get off to a great start when a couple of Austrian fans visiting Dublin for their World Cup qualifier on March 26 were mugged the night before the game.

They were unceremoniously stripped of their wallets – which were lined with Euros and their precious match tickets – and sent on their way.

However, when the news of this injustice spread on social media sites Facebook and Twitter, a number of Ireland fans stepped in. Fan forum You Boys in Green (YBIG) started a collection for the two lads and the response was overwhelming.

The Austrians were issued replacement tickets by the FA and a special collection was taken up on their behalf before kick-off! In fact, so much money was promised, the two fans said they would give anything they received over and above what they had lost to Irish charities!

Of course, the recompense wouldn’t have been complete without taking the two Austrians for a knees-up the night before the game. I’m pretty sure they were treated to a Guinness or two by the local lads as they hit the town.

So well done to all the Ireland fans who helped out… But why am I telling you all this?

Well, because I think it’s really important to show kindness to people, especially those who have been mistreated. A lot of people would have felt sorry for the Austrian guys but wouldn’t have actually done anything about it.

                                          

There are so many people in the world who need help. Maybe your neighbour is suffering from depression and would appreciate a chat, or someone at work is moving house and needs someone to pack a few boxes for them. Easter is a great time to reflect on these things.

Perhaps your heart goes out to the homeless or victims of sex trafficking but you don’t know how to channel that concern into positive action. Sometimes a smile or a hug will do, but on other occasions you might need to put your hand in your pocket, or be prepared to invest time in a project that matches your cause.

Of course, the most important thing you can do this Easter – and, in fact, at any time of year – is to tell people about Jesus Christ. It’s important that we remember over the next few days that Jesus died to take away our sin, but let’s not keep this good news to ourselves.

The kindest thing we can do for any other human being is to assure them that God loves them deeply and has made away for us all to enjoy eternal life with Him if we simply accept Jesus’ great sacrifice for ourselves.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).

Happy Easter from all of us at Sorted magazine.

Taking a break from Facebook

I recently decided to have a break from Facebook. It was distracting me from work and from the real, face-to-face relationships I have.

And although I was delighted for the people involved, the constant stream of engagement announcements and baby photos made me a bit depressed about my own marriageless, childless life.

But five days on, the lack of Facebook is taking its toll. I feel as though I’m out of the loop – what breaking news might I have missed in my absence? And worse still, what if my friends forget about me now my incredibly witty status updates are gone?

In deactivating my account, it almost felt like I was deleting myself. There were no more likes or comments on my posts and photos; no more invitations to events I was never going to go to. I no longer appear in people’s friends lists or turn up in search results for the thousands of people that are desperate to track me down. It’s like I no longer exist.

And I must admit I’ve really missed it. I like it when people post nice things on my wall or add me as a friend. I like the likes I get when I’ve posted a particularly profound pearl of wisdom. It all gives me a nice, warm fuzzy feeling. But is this normal?

Well, interviewing comedian Tony Vino this week reassured me that this need for approbation isn’t uncommon. He told me how comedians often lap up the laughs as a way of making themselves feel appreciated.

He said: “It still seems bizarre to me that a group of people spend half their lives travelling around the country seeking public affirmation from a group of strangers. I’m sure psychologists would have a lot to say about why we go to such lengths to please people. This is where I need to be vigilant that I don’t get into the trap of basing my worth on the acceptance of other people.”

So where should we be basing our worth if it’s not on other people’s perceptions of us? On our work? How many cars we have? How well our kids are doing at school? Tony believes our self-esteem should actually come from the one who created us, and I have to agree.

He explained: “My constant prayer is that my identity is in God. Laughter and good vibes audience are lovely, but if I rely on that to feel good I become a performing junkie, constantly needing the next high (not to be confused with a performing monkey; they’re happy with a banana and friendly scratch!).

“I rest in God knowing that my worth isn’t dictated by the audience or career. Sure, if I have a bad gig I can feel lousy, but I see it in perspective. If I have an awesome gig I thank God for the connection made with the audience and the gift of life.”

I don’t know where that leaves me in my Facebook dilemma. Should I make my temporary absence a permanent one and only commune with God from now on? I’m not sure my friends and family would be keen if I suddenly ostracised myself from the world (or maybe they would?!). I think the key is to find a balance; to enjoy the benefits of social networking without relying on it to massage my ego.

And I’ve also decided to spend more time with real people rather than just stalking them in cyberspace. When I look back on my life I’ll remember going for a nice meal with friends, but I won’t remember who ‘liked’ my status. I’ll have fond memories of holidays and baby showers, but I won’t recall someone from school who I never really got on with adding me as their 7,000th friend.

Most importantly, I’ll spend time finding out who I am in God’s eyes and to work on doing what he likes rather than soliciting approval from my Facebook ‘friends’.

Read the full (and extremely funny) interview with Tony Vino in the upcoming issue of Sorted magazine.

Even better sounds from Stuart Pendred

Photo credit: Stuart Pendred

Opera singer Stuart Pendred is an old friend of Sorted. When his first album, Benedizioni (meaning “blessings”), came out, we interviewed him for a full spread in the magazine.

Then, last week, good old Facebook alerted me to the fact he’s releasing a brand new album, Agnus Dei, and that he was dropping in on BBC radio Oxford to give listeners a little taster.

As a youngster, he had grand visions of appearing on the stage as an awe-inspiring Hamlet and bagging himself a couple of Oscars. Being on stage made Stuart feel “alive”, and his sights were firmly fixed on making it big in Hollywood.

He never had any aspirations to be an opera singer when he was growing up; in fact he thought of opera stars as “fat people who shouted at each other in languages [he] … didn’t understand”.

Although he grew up in a Salvation Army setting, the Bedford boy had no experience of classical music. And his parents weren’t impressed about the idea of their son appearing on the stage. “It was positively not encouraged!” he says.

His singing prowess was attracting attention from his drama teachers and, despite his initial reluctance, he was eventually drawn into the opera arena. Members of a new company he helped set up would attend events pretending to be waiters or ‘undercover’ guests and then suddenly burst into song.

According to Stuart, this was a great laugh. But there were a couple of occasions where he almost ended up getting battered by other guests who weren’t in on the surprise.

Dennis Wise’s wedding was one such experience, as Vinnie Jones was the best man. “Having him tell me to shut up was quite an intense experience,” Stuart relates, expecting a good hiding. But once the action man realised what was going on, he saw the funny side.

This was certainly good experience for what was to come. He later found himself singing in front of huge crowds, including thousands of fans at two Six Nations rugby matches. Stuart speaks fondly about the magic of hearing 75,000 people singing along to “Swing Low” or “Jerusalem”.

Photo credit: Stuart Pendred

He also became the ‘voice’ of Chelsea Football Club, the team he had always supported. Having set up a “Three Tenors kind of company”, he and his buddies sent out promotional packs to every Premier League club. Susanna, who was Chelsea manager Ken Bates’ PA at the time (and is now his wife), rang Stuart and the pair came up with a plot for the three singers to sing live for Ken.

Posing as ordinary fans after a Chelsea match, Stuart approached the manager and asked if he could sing for him. After hearing the three lads sing, they instantly became “Ken Bates’ boys”. This opened up plenty of opportunities for Stuart to appear at players’ and staff weddings and other functions.

Despite the fact his dad was a gooner and was convinced his son had been brought up properly, Stuart and his brother had been firmly encouraged in their support of Arsenal rivals Chelsea by their uncle. So standing on that Stamford Bridge turf and getting to know the players, legends and directors well has been a “real honour”.

The new album features more original tracks than Benedizioni and boasts around 36 live musicians compared with seven or eight. Stuart says that it is a reflection of himself; his way of laying his deepest feelings on the line.

The radio station played track eleven from the album; a song called “Sempre Qui”, (“always there”). He explains that he was inspired to write the song after a close friend was diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer.

Very sadly, after a furious battle with the disease, he died at the age of 42, leaving behind a wife and two children. Having lost his brother in a car accident and his uncle to cancer, Andy’s death came as a major blow for Stuart. “It was a very dark experience and one that I needed to get out,” he explains.

However, the track is actually a song of hope; reassuring us that there is still purpose and meaning in life. As a Christian, Stuart firmly believes his life is in the hands of his creator and he’s looking forward to whatever lies ahead for him.

The new album is moving, inspiring and full of positivity, so if you’re wondering to get a friend or relative for Christmas, you could do a lot worse than grabbing a copy.

Check out Stuart’s website to buy the album and get the latest news. Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Sorted magazine and in its sister publication, Liberti.

The perfect apprentice

Photo credit: BBC Pictures

I recently spent the weekend hiding from the tabloids, facebook and anything else that might give away the winner of The Apprentice. I’d sky plussed it but knew I wouldn’t be able to watch it for several days after the Sunday final.

For those of you who’ve never seen the show, here’s the basic premise. Lord Admiral Grand High Dragon Brewmaster Suralan Sugar (Lord Sugar for short) chooses a number of contestants – 16 this year – and then makes them jump through hoops each week, firing them one by one until a winner emerges.

This may sound cruel, and it sometimes is, but it is also massively entertaining, and discussions about each episode can bring even the least interesting of our colleagues to life.

Everyone had their favourite, whether it was eerie Edna with her creepy long gloves, monotonous Melody who would climb over a dead body to get what she wants, jolly Jim and his cringy one-liners, simpering Susan with her ridiculous questions or triumphant Tom (this year’s winner) and his harebrained inventions.

But entertaining as it is, it made me wonder how I would respond if God was on one side of that boardroom table and I was on the other. What would he say about me? Would he point that oversized finger at me and tell me I’m FIRED (or even worse, doomed to the fires of hell?).

Well let’s think about how Jesus treated his ‘apprentices’, the disciples. They were a motley crew, including several fishermen, a tax collector and even a money-grabbing traitor. Jesus had his patience tested to the limit with these 12 guys, but he continued to spend time with them, teach them and help them to catch his vision.

He washed their feet, he prayed for them and he ultimately died for them. As their mentor, he didn’t look for ways to pick fault with them, he spent his time instructing, empowering and deeply loving them.

So does that mean we could go into God’s boardroom, stick our feet up on the desk and expect a big pat on the back? Probably not. He’s given us a clear mandate – to go into all the world and preach the good news about Jesus’ death and resurrection (Matthew 28:16-20) – and, like Lord Sugar with his tasks, he expects us to follow it.

God is not to be trifled with, but he is a people person. He wants to know us inside and out, to help us get rid of the bad bits and build on the good. While Sir Alan tells Zoe in one episode that he has forgiven her this time but won’t do so again, God never runs out of forgiveness for us.

And this is how we should treat the people around us, especially if we are in a position of authority ourselves. The impact we have on other people could change their lives and even their destinies. Our call is not to be power-hungry, but God-hungry, and this task is more challenging (and rewarding) than anything Lord Sugar could cook up.

The best part with God is that, whatever our skill set, we are absolutely definitely HIRED.

Read more in the upcoming issue of Sorted magazine.