What does it mean to be a man?

A friend of mine is pumping iron at the gym as I write this blog. He’s got it into his head that he needs to muscle up for the ladies. 

When I said that not all girls (myself included) are big on muscles, he replied that while they might not think they like them physically, every member of the ‘fairer sex’ equates muscles with protective masculinity, and what woman doesn’t want to be protected?

I didn’t know how to respond to this as, while patronising, there may be an element of truth in it. So while he was building biceps, I lifted my heavy laptop onto my lap and researched what it is to be a man in 2014. I have to say it made for very interesting reading.

According to Theo Marz at The Telegraph, men are becoming more feminine in their habits and hobbies. Knitting, for example, is gaining popularity among men. Marz writes:

Gerrard Allt had been smoking for around 20 years and was getting through a packet of cigarettes a day when a housemate introduced him to knitting. “It gave me something else to do with my hands,” says the softly-spoken Scouser, now in his 40s. “Before that I’d tried quitting, but I was going cold turkey and just wanted to eat all the time. Knitting calmed me down…”

“…It’s a question of how you see yourself, and how confident you feel in your masculinity. My masculinity can handle a bit of knitting – and I’m sure plenty of other guys’ can too.”

Next I saw an article featured in my least favourite tabloid, but on this occasion I couldn’t resist taking a peak. It was about a new Japanese range of silky, lacy underwear for men. Made by Wish Room, the range features feminine men’s bras and panties. And no, this is not an early April Fool’s joke.

According to the executive director Akiko Okunomiya: “More and more men are becoming interested in bras. Since we launched the men's bra, we've been getting feedback from customers saying, ‘Wow, we'd been waiting for this for such a long time’.”

Australian brand Homme Mystere is also getting in on the action. Its range of lacy thongs, camisoles and padded bras (marketed under names such as Moulin Rouge and Jungle Fever) have met with high demand.

Once I had stopped giggling like a teenager (apologies if you are into the undies), I stumbled upon a thought-provoking article in The Huffington Post. Entitled: “Real Men Talk About Their Feelings - For Real”, Josh Rivedal explains that: “Men are willing to talk about the size of their prostate glands, or how much Viagra they're allowed to take, but they're still not willing to be open about their mental health.

“If men want to live long, healthy and productive lives it's absolutely crucial that the dialogue surrounding men's mental health has to change.”

Men’s reluctance to talk about their problems and hurts can lead to a range of problems and even premature death, with male suicide rates far exceeding those of females. Having considered suicide himself, Rivedal understands the dilemma so many men face.

However, he reassuring writes: “As a man who has suffered from clinical depression, I can say from personal experience that this is not a character flaw or a weakness. It doesn't make you any less of a man.

“In fact, by asking for help it makes you a stronger man. It gives you a fighting chance to improve your life and become the person you want to be. Reach out to your family and friends and ask for help. Nip it in the bud before it can turn into a crisis.”

I came to the conclusion that being a man is a very complex state of affairs. Should men be watching Downton Abbey in their frilly thongs, knitting needles raised, or watching the match with their mates, pint in hand? Should men be the strong, protective type or the kind that aren’t afraid to admit defeat, talk about their feelings and seek help? (I would certainly recommend the latter.)

It seems there is a lot of pressure on men to be all things to all people: the breadwinner, the brawn, the gentle lover, the comedian, the father, the mate. And everyone has their own ideas about what it means to be a man.

The Bible contains plenty of examples of manhood, good and bad. Apart from Jesus, every one of these men was flawed. Some liked a drop too much of the amber nectar, others stole, lied and killed. Still others liked to wear silky drawers… Ok, that’s not in there, but you never know.

The Bible is a great place to start if you want to know what real men are like, because it describes the journeys of ordinary men who made mistakes and overcame them, and of one extraordinary man who made no mistakes but paid for all of ours.

If you aren’t quite ready for the Bible yet, Sorted magazine is another place to read about men who are exploring the concept of masculinity as they journey through life themselves. We don’t have a knitting column (yet), but we discuss all things male, from business to politics to sex. Our hope is that it challenges and inspires you as well as providing quality entertainment and making you laugh.

Click here to buy your copy of Sorted magazine today.

The most wonderful time of the year?

I absolutely love the excitement that surrounds Christmas: decorating the tree, carols by candlelight, wrapping presents, the cheesy movies; the whole shebang. 

I love picking out Christmassy foods at the supermarket while bopping along to the classic tunes that can just about be heard over the general hubbub of people filling their trolleys with mince pies and mulled wine.

But sometimes we can get so caught up in the trimmings of Christmas, we forget about the important things. First, the reason that we celebrate Christmas in the first place: to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Second, that we are called to care for those that are less fortunate than us, a message that was close to Jesus’ heart.

So this week’s news that hunger in the UK – the seventh-richest country in the world – has reached public health emergency levels is a complete disgrace! An estimated 60,000 will be without food over Christmas this year! 

How are people going to bed hungry right under our noses? How are elderly people dying because they cannot afford to heat their homes? And how are families finding themselves without homes at all?

Now I realise that these problems exist all year round, not just at Christmas, but at this time of year we should be doing more, not less, to help those in need. Nobody should be without food, heat or shelter this Christmas!

So what can we do to help?

• Find out where your nearest food bank is and take advantage of two-for-one offers when you’re next at the supermarket. You may not have tons of money to give away, but there are ways to give without bankrupting yourself.
• Sign Jack Monroe’s petition calling for parliamentary debate on hunger in the UK. Did you know that 350,000 people received three-day emergency food rations from food banks between April and September this year alone?
• Give sensitively. Maybe you have a neighbour, colleague or friend who is struggling to make ends meet. Find a way to help without being patronising. Perhaps you could take round a Christmas hamper, or better still, invite someone to share Christmas at your home. Maybe an elderly person you know will be spending a lonely Christmas at a residential care home or hospital this year. A half-hour visit could make all the difference.

The Bible speaks a great deal on this subject. Deuteronomy 15:7-11 tells us not to harden our hearts against our “poor brother”, while Leviticus 25:35 and Isaiah 58:6-7 go a step further, suggesting that the poor brother/homeless person is taken into our homes and supported.

Proverbs speaks extensively about meeting others’ needs and being generous to the poor (and the blessing that comes with it):

• Proverbs 19:17: “Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.”
• Proverbs 22:9: “Whoever has a bountiful eye will be blessed, for he shares his bread with the poor.”
• Proverbs 14:21: “Whoever despises his neighbour is a sinner, but blessed is he who is generous to the poor.”

Jesus himself spoke extensively on the subject, for example in Luke 3:11: “And he answered them, ‘Whoever has two tunics is to share with him who has none, and whoever has food is to do likewise.’"

These verses are summed up nicely in 1 John 3:17-18: “But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”

So let’s remember those in need this Christmas, and throughout 2014.

Finally, if you’re already doing all this and want to address the spiritual needs of those around you, why not use Christmas as an opportunity to invite a friend to church or to a carol service?

Or why not give them a gift that introduces them to the Christian faith? Yup, you’ve guessed it! Sorted and sister magazine Liberti make excellent Christmas presents for people of all faiths and of no faith. You can buy a gift subscription for one special person or a bumper box to distribute among friends and strangers alike.

Finally, check out this clip from The Piano Guys to get you in the Christmas mood. It’ll blow you away.

Is Christianity being squeezed out of schools?

Having grown up in a Christian home and split my scholastic career between three ‘Christian’ schools, you might think I would have been overwhelmed by Bible teaching and endless faith-based discussions. 

However, while God was very real to me outside of school, the way religion was presented within the school walls was somewhat lacking. Assemblies were boring, RE lessons were lacklustre and the general feeling was that no-one really believed what they were teaching us anyway, so why should we?

Interestingly, Ofsted seems to have come to a similar conclusion when it comes to the portrayal of Christianity – and religion in general – in schools. According to the schools inspection body, the Christian faith is being “squeezed out” of schools and pupils deserve “much better”.

I actually remember what we were taught about other faiths much more distinctly than about Christianity at school. I was fascinated by the appearance of Vishnu and Shiva, and intrigued to learn what was eaten during the Passover Festival. But apart from some very dry discussion about sacraments and God’s judgement, I don’t remember very much of what we learnt about my own faith. I’m pretty sure Jesus was barely mentioned.

One of the criticisms Ofsted has levelled at schools is that they are focused on “superficial” observations and bringing discussions about Christianity to a “happy end” rather than engaging in genuine debate. I wanted to know how all the animals fitted into Noah’s ark, or at least whether my pets would go to heaven (I'm told not, but am still holding out hope). But back in my day controversy was strictly avoided, and Ofsted claims this is still the case today.

After inspecting 185 schools, Ofsted found that 60% of primary schools and just over 50% of secondary schools failed to realise the subject's full potential. Its 'Religious education: realising the potential' report identified low standards, weak teachings, a confused sense of purpose, training gaps and weaknesses in the way religious education is examined. 

RE is compulsory in all state schools at present, but weirdly it is not part of the national curriculum. Instead, individual schools and councils are responsible for drawing up their own syllabuses.

Ofsted’s director of schools, Michael Cladingbowl, said: "At its best, religious education encourages children and young people to extend their natural curiosity and prepares them for life in modern society.

"We saw some great examples of this during the survey, but too often we found religious education lessons being squeezed out by other subjects and children and young people leaving school with little knowledge or understanding of different religions.

"This just isn’t good enough when religion and belief are playing such a profound part in today’s world. Pupils deserve much better."

It’s hardly surprising that the number of pupils opting to study RE at GCSE level has dropped sharply. But on reflection, should schools be held responsible for teaching children about Christianity and other religions? Or do parents and local churches/religious centres also have a part to play?

I know for a fact I’d never have encountered God for myself through our boring RE lessons, but fortunately my parents walked out their faith and took me to church where I could ask the questions I had (and there were many) and pursue my own faith. So what about those who aren’t given this opportunity?

 

Well I guess that’s where we come in. Some Christians are accused of indoctrinating their children, but I believe it is our responsibility to present people with the basics and then allow them to make their own decisions. And that doesn’t just apply to children.

Sorted and Liberti magazines aren’t the answer to our schools’ lack of conviction when it comes to religion, but they certainly engage with Christianity in a real and unforceful way. I’m happy to have swapped the dusty lessons for the glossy magazines and I hope you will feel the same way should you choose to have a read.

Buy your copies here today.

If only someone in China could do my job for me…

Wouldn’t it be nice to get paid a decent salary without having to lift a finger? No doubt that’s what went through the mind of a US software developer when he decided to outsource his job to a company based in Shenyang, China.

The 40-something American was reportedly paid a six-figure salary but spent his day surfing the internet while the Chinese company did his work for a fifth of the price. My first thought was, ‘What a genius idea!’

I mean, we already wear clothes that are made in China and sit on furniture from the Far East. So why shouldn’t we take advantage of the cheaper labour offered by its ever-growing workplace?  

1.    It’s dishonest. If someone is paying you to do a job and you are palming off someone else’s efforts as your own, you are lying to them. This also applies if you are in management and take the credit for someone else’s work or ideas. Or if you plagiarise someone else’s research for a university assignment and pretend it is your own endeavour.

2.    It’s exploitative. If the person providing the work is producing a product or service that is of the same standard you would, then they deserve more than 20% of your salary. Whether it is someone in the Orient or a member of your own workforce, we should value people as highly as we value ourselves and ensure that they are paid accordingly.

3.    It’s lazy. If you’ve been given a job to do, you should do it to the best of your ability. This guy was obviously capable of doing the work he was given, but instead he chose to sit around watching YouTube videos. Instead of reaching and even exceeding his potential, he was happy to just ‘get away with it’. There's no pride in an easy ride.

The Bible says a number of things about work: 

• Colossians 3:23: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men”
• 2 Thessalonians 3:10: “For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat”
• Proverbs 16:3: “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established”
• 1 Corinthians 10:31: “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God”

So even if your job is tiring or mundane, you should do it to the best of your abilities; not looking for plaudits or a pat on the back, but knowing that God sees and honours what you’re doing. 

It’s also worth remembering that the American chap got fired for his little scam if still you’re tempted to follow suit!

Anyway, that’s my cue to get back to proofreading the latest issue of Sorted. 

Featuring an exclusive interviews with Sir Anthony Hopkins, you’re in for a real treat! Just imagine if he or one of your other heroes had sat around with his feet up rather than fulfilling his potential!

Pearls of wisdom: what a kick in the teeth

I had a wisdom tooth extracted this morning and I can’t say it was particularly pleasant. At one point it felt as though the dentist was unscrewing a section of my brain and hoiking it out through my whimpering jaw.

I’m not a brave person; in fact the thought of large needles jabbing into my gums and a pair of angry looking pliers approaching my pearly whites filled me with abject horror. Worst of all though, when I went to bed last night, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I didn’t have a great deal of wisdom to spare.

Now before you stop me, I’m aware that wisdom teeth aren’t actually the source of human knowledge. But it did get me thinking about where wisdom comes from, and if it’s possible to get a top up.

Fortunately, there is no shortage of wisdom-related information in the Bible.

The first thing I learnt was that God is exceedingly wise: “Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding [wisdom] is infinite” (Psalm 147:5).

Secondly, we can access this wisdom ourselves: “For the Lord giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding” (Proverbs 2:6).

What a relief! Out of my mouth came a rather large wisdom tooth, leaving a large, tender void. But out of God’s mouth comes true wisdom; knowledge and understanding that we can read about, hear and experience for ourselves. And when it leaves his mouth, there is no void; His wisdom is infinite, so it never runs out.

Most comfortingly, God’s wisdom isn’t like ours. He doesn’t make mistakes or falter over decisions; His common sense never holds him back. I, for one, consider that a huge relief.

Because although I’ve still got three wisdom teeth in reserve, I’m fully aware that my knowledge, judgment and powers of discernment are fatally flawed. A whole jaw full of them couldn’t stop me from putting both feet in my mouth on a daily basis.

So when my head hits the pillow tonight, there will be no need to worry about where my wisdom will come from. I’ll simply be waiting for the tooth fairy to leave me a large deposit in place of my precious – and freakishly large – bit of back tooth.

I know what you’re thinking… I definitely need to wise up if I'm expecting that to happen!

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Sorted magazine. 

Who’s the daddy?

With Father’s Day approaching (June 17), I’ve been thinking about what it means to be a good father. I can’t draw on the experience with my own dad as, despite his immense potential, he has spectacularly failed as a father figure.

But the Bible gives us a host of fatherly figures to look at. I’ll start with the not so good and lead up to our best inspiration: our Heavenly Father.

The bad and the ugly

• Noah got hammered and passed out naked, then realising his son Ham had spotted him, cursed Ham’s son Canaan and all his descendents
• Lot volunteered his daughters to be raped by a mob in a bid to spare his two male guests from the same fate
• Jephthah killed and burned his innocent daughter having made a foolish vow to God
• Isaac and Jacob both caused major problems in their families through favouritism
• Eli, Samuel and David all had problems with their sons because they did not discipline them properly. Eli’s sons both died on the same day as a result of their disobedience and brought judgement on the entire family. Samuel’s took bribes and corrupted justice and David’s son Absalom killed all of his brothers and later tried to overthrow and kill King David himself.

Sheesh!

The good

It wasn’t easy to find good father figures, so I just picked one. Although Joseph wasn’t Jesus’ biological father, I think he did a number of admirable things. First, he honoured Mary, Jesus’ mother, even though she was pregnant and he wasn’t the father. In The Message it says he was “chagrined but noble”. Second, he went on and married Mary but resisted consummating the marriage until Jesus was born. Third, he listened to God’s warnings and protected his family from Herod’s influence. Fourth, we presume he taught his son the family trade – carpentry – as well as self-discipline and a strong work ethic.

The outright perfect

From the beginning of time, we – God’s children – have made bad decisions and rebelled against his guidelines for life. Unlike Eli, Samuel and David, though, God disciplines us carefully; not to hurt or humiliate us, but to allow us to become more mature, reliable, honest and committed. Like Joseph, he protects us, is patient with us, and gives us the knowledge we need to live full and fulfilling lives.

God knows how to give us powerful gifts in a way that no earthly father could. That’s because he knows our every thought, dream and, most importantly, what is good for us. Added to this, the Bible says He will never, ever leave or forsake us – something many of us struggle to believe because our own fathers have let us down.

While God totally allows us to make our own choices, He has also come up with a plan for when we make the wrong ones. By sacrificing His own perfect son, Jesus, He allowed us to become part of his family – children of God and co-heirs with Christ; the apple of his eye (Zechariah 2:8).

Over to us

So what does a good earthly father look like? Well, first he should love God and honour his own father and mother. Second, he should love his children as Jesus did, welcoming them with open arms whether it’s convenient or not and reassuring them he will always be there for them.

Third, he should patiently discipline his kids so that they will avoid future heartache and train them well so that they stay on the right track (Proverbs 22:6). And dads should also have fun with their kids; laying work and other concerns aside to make time to spend time and laugh with their children – whether they are in nappies or all grown up!

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Sorted magazine - it's a Father's Day special! Buy your bumper pack today and get 50 copies for just £50!

Can prayer really help Muamba?

We were all shocked to hear that Bolton player Fabrice Muamba had collapsed on the pitch during the club’s FA Cup quarter-final match against Spurs on Saturday.

The 23-year-old suffered a heart attack and has been in intensive care ever since.

Although it’s incredibly sad that this has happened, it’s been really moving to see how his fiancée, family, friends, fans and fellow footballers have responded. Many appealed for fans to pray for the footballer as he fights for his life and it's great to hear he is showing signs of improvement.

Fiancée Shauna Magunda’s tweets read: "Fabrice WILL!! Pull through because God is good. Love u so much @fmuamba keep strong we're praying for u honey xx”; "God is in control. Please keep @fmuamba in ur prayers xx”; and "Please keep praying for @fmuamba its really helping I can feel it xx".

Manager Owen Coyle said: "Everybody is praying for Fabrice, which is very important, and that has been a real source of strength to the family”, while Chelsea defender Gary Cahill lifted up his jersey to reveal a vest urging fans to "Pray 4 Muamba" after scoring against Leicester on Sunday.

Even the tabloids looked towards the heavens on Muamba’s behalf. Headlines from the Sun and the Daily Star read: "God is in Control" and “In God's Hands", respectively.

But does prayer really work? Isn’t it just a bit of superstition that people cling to when something bad happens?

Well the Bible cites plenty of examples of effective prayer for healing:

• “Go back and tell Hezekiah, the ruler of my people, ‘This is what the Lord the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you (2 Kings 20:5)
• Peter sent them all out of the room; then he got down on his knees and prayed. Turning toward the dead woman, he said, “Tabitha, get up.” She opened her eyes, and seeing Peter she sat up (Acts 9:40)
  
• His father was sick in bed, suffering from fever and dysentery. Paul went in to see him and, after prayer, placed his hands on him and healed him (Acts 28:8)
• Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up (James 5:13-15)

You may not be a Bible believer, but for those that are, the evidence is fairly conclusive: prayer works and we should be committed to praying for the sick and injured.

But you don’t have to be a Bible believer to do it. The best case scenario is that the person you pray for gets healed; the worst is that you ‘waste’ a few minutes.

Even if the prayer doesn’t seem to have been answered, spending time praying with others can help to bring friends and family members into unity, help to give them strength and enable them to keep things in perspective.

Maybe you still think prayer is a complete waste of time – feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Or perhaps you’ve experienced an answer to prayer – either in terms of healing or otherwise – that you’d like to share. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

In the meantime, I’ll keep praying that Muamba makes a complete recovery and is able to give the glory for his complete healing to the God that made him.

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Sorted magazine – coming soon!

The president and the prayer breakfast

Guest blog with Phil James

Speaking last Thursday to 3,000 people at the annual National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, President Obama explained how his Christian beliefs influence and help guide his political and personal life. Drawing heavily on the Bible, he addressed and prayed with political, business and social leaders from across the world.

In my predictions for 2012, I said that we should expect the best and worst of Christianity to be showcased through US politics, and though often the bad is more visible and perhaps more entertaining to critique than the good, that doesn’t mean the good isn’t there.

Republican senator Jeff Sessions introduced the president by thanking him “for all the ways you strive for all Americans; you give your life to that”. This would draw awkward silence on the floor of the Senate, but underlines the prayer breakfast’s position as one of the last genuinely bipartisan arenas for American politics.

From his efforts to raise taxes for the wealthiest Americans to sending troops to prevent human rights abuses in Uganda, Obama argued that his political behaviour and actions are founded in his faith:

“The Bible teaches us to ‘be doers of the word and not merely hearers’. We’re required to have a living, breathing, active faith in our own lives. And each of us is called on to give something of ourselves for the betterment of others.”

In a demonstration of his personal belief, Obama described how he prays each morning and seeks advice at times of stress. He also outlined how he’s found politics and religion to be complementary elements in his own decision making:

“I think to myself, if I’m willing to give something up as somebody who’s been extraordinarily blessed, and give up some of the tax breaks that I enjoy, I actually think that’s going to make economic sense. But for me, as a Christian, it also coincides with Jesus’ teaching that ‘for unto whom much is given, much shall be required’.”

He added, however, that his decisions are not ordained from on high:

“Our goals should not be to declare our policies as biblical. It is God who is infallible, not us. Michelle reminds me of this often.”

The National Prayer Breakfast, attended by every president since Eisenhower, is an opportunity for people of different faiths and denominations to come together and pray. It can be used as a pulpit or a platform to remind the powerful of their duty and, as demonstrated on February 2, it can help to define the role of religion in politics. It can raise the level of political debate, rather than diminishing it, and it can change the tone of political interaction.

Phil James writes for Godculture, an online magazine that showcases Christianity in modern culture. For more articles on faith, creativity, technology, justice, music and more, head to www.godculture.co.uk.

Breasts like clusters of grapes

Photo credit: Flagstaffotos.com.au

I don’t normally laugh when I read the Bible, but two passages I read this morning made me laugh.

The first was an extract from Song of Songs, the strangest book in the Bible in my opinion. The story focuses on the blossoming relationship between a young man “he” and woman “she”, who express their love for one another in truly poetic terms. Every now and then, there is an interjection from their “friends”.

This book is interesting because there is no overt reference to God at all and it’s pretty sensual. However, it is often interpreted as an allegorical representation of the relationship between God and Israel, God and the Church, and the husband and wife.

This doesn’t sound like an amusing backdrop, but to me it has a strong, if purely accidental, comedic edge.

Let’s look at the way “he” describes his lover. His opening statement is: “I liken you, my darling, to a mare among Pharaoh’s chariot horses” (Song of Songs 1:9). Not the best compliment I’ve ever heard.

He goes on to say her eyes are like doves, her hair like a flock of goats, her teeth like a flock of sheep just shorn (each has its twin; not one of them is alone) and her temples like the halves of a pomegranate.

 

Photo credit: Jacquie Wingate/Wikipedia

According to the girl’s lover, her neck is like the tower of David, her breasts like twin fawns of a gazelle (or clusters of grapes on the vine), her navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine, her waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies, her neck is like an ivory tower and – my personal favourite – her nose is like the tower of Lebanon.

Meanwhile, “she” describes him as “a sachet of myrrh” resting between her breasts. She goes on to say he is like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, like a gazelle or a young stag, like a column of smoke perfumed with myrrh and incense.

She claims his cheeks are like beds of spice, his arms are rods of gold set with topaz, his body is like polished ivory decorated with lapis lazuli and his legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold.

Okay, so I’ve picked out the descriptions that most amused me – there were other more complimentary similes, particularly about the woman. And I’m also sure these descriptions held meanings that I didn’t appreciate: suggestions of fertility, prosperity, strength and beauty, for example.

But I can’t help imagining this woman with her muttony teeth, pomegranate forehead and tower-like nose rendezvousing with her apple tree beloved with his spicy cheeks and marble legs.

So that’s the first passage that tickled me. The second was a single verse, Proverbs 21:9, which says: “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

That doesn’t need much explanation, as far as I’m concerned, but again the imagery amused me. In fact, it reminded me of the well-known black and white picture of workmen eating their lunch on a crane hanging over New York (click here to view). It suddenly took on a whole new meaning for me after reading that verse.

Please feel free to leave comments. You can read more from Joy in the next issue of Sorted magazine, and in its sister publication Liberti.

Divorce is ok if your spouse has Alzheimer’s… isn’t it?

Pat Robertson Photo credit: (Paparazzo Presents/Wikipedia)

Controversial televangelist (yes, that is a real word) Pat Robertson has caused uproar by suggesting that divorcing a spouse with Alzheimer's may be permissible.

During a question and answer session on The 700 Club, the show he hosts, Robertson was asked what advice should given to a viewer’s ‘friend’ who started seeing another woman after his wife developed the incurable disorder.

"I know it sounds cruel, but if he's going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again, but make sure she has custodial care and somebody looking after her," Robertson responded.

Questioned by co-host Terry Meeuwsen about this view in relation to marriage vows, which are binding "in sickness and in health" and "for better or for worse", Robertson’s response is even more controversial.

"If you respect that vow, you say 'til death do us part,'" he said. "This is a kind of death."

Robertson, who is chairman of the Christian Broadcasting Network, founder of the Christian Coalition of America and a former Republican presidential candidate, said that he wouldn’t "put a guilt trip" on someone who decided to divorce their spouse because of the neurological disorder. However he added, as a sort of disclaimer, that viewers should "get some ethicist besides me to give you the answer".

My personal opinion is that this is wrong on many levels. Would we divorce a spouse who had cancer or had suffered a stroke? Would we split if our partner had sustained brain damage in a car accident? I hope most of us would answer with an emphatic NO.

I understand living with a partner who has dementia can be stressful and upsetting. The disease is an irreversible, progressive disease that gradually destroys memory and thinking skills, and, in the latter stages, prevents sufferers from carrying out the simplest of tasks.

But rather than getting shot of our afflicted partners, surely it would be better to ask for help and stick by our loved ones. The Alzheimer's Society offers expert help including day care and home care services and support for carers. And, as Christians, we should have a network of people we can call on for prayer and practical help. 

So what does the Bible say about this? 

1. Marriage is a lifelong commitment (Matthew 19:6)
2. God understands people will divorce, but makes it clear that it is not his will  (Malachi 2:16)
3. Jesus makes his views on divorce and remarriage (or an affair) very clear: “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9). Therefore, if the viewer’s ‘friend’ is cheating, it is the wife who is entitled to divorce him, not the other way around

I’m not saying we should condemn divorcees (my amazing mother is sadly one) or Robertson, who I know next to nothing about. But I think if most of us search our hearts we would conclude that illness can never justifiably be grounds for divorce.

"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-3). Sickness continually roused Jesus' compassion and it should provoke the same reaction is us.

Here are some of the responses I saw to Robertson's views. Please feel free to add your own thoughts in the comments below:

"Sure - to the religious nuts marriage is sacred - until it is inconvenient. Don't let the gays marry but by all means divorce your spouse when they get sick!"

"So, just when the spouse REALLY needs help, you bow out."

"Any suggestions on how I make my wife get Alzheimer's???" 

"And this is why so many have no respect for religion and those like Pat."

"You can spin it whatever way you want but I find his advice shocking - I am an atheist and I take those vows to my spouse more seriously than Robertson does!"

"Wow.... shame on you Mr Robertson. You have just lost so much credibility by the reply. And it just goes against what is contained in the Bible. Again, shame on you."

Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Sorted magazine and in the next edition of its sister magazine, Liberti.

Boxing clever

Photo credit: Chris Royle

Last weekend was a big one for British boxing. But while the much-hyped stateside battle between Amir Khan and Zab Judah was a bit of a flop, the fight between underdog Tyson Fury and Dereck Chisora this side of the pond was the exact opposite.

Fury really pulled something special out of the punch bag against Chisora. It was skillful, dignified and fascinating to watch, with both men working to their strengths: Chisora with his fierce, punishing blows and Fury with his fancy footwork and clever combos. Both fighters gave it their all and thoroughly thrilled the crowd.

But as a Christian, should I really be watching one man smack the living daylights out of another? Is this the “good fight” the apostle Paul talks about in his letters to Timothy (1 Timothy 6)?

Well it seems there are two schools of thought on this: namely the male and the female viewpoint. The men I talk to give me more or less the same answer. They explain that boxing is a sport, that it is good for the body and that it helps to focus the mind.

But what if you injure someone or give them brain damage, I ask? How is that good for mind or body? They look at me as if I’m a complete moron and reply that if that happens, one simply stands in faith and prays for the injured party. Besides, it hardly ever happens, they assure me.

Meanwhile, most of the women I ask seem to share my views. It makes for uncomfortable, yet compelling viewing (mainly watched from between our fingers, which are glued over our eyes as soon as the first punch is thrown). Just as long as no-one gets seriously hurt, we tell ourselves.

The debate becomes more interesting when we learn that there are several Christian boxers on the scene: Fury and Judah to name just two. Neither seems to have any problem reconciling their work and their faith.

In fact, Judah claims he is doing a “great job” of serving God in Sin City. Having earned himself quite a reputation over the years for street fighting, unsportsmanlike behaviour and promiscuity, he claims his life has radically changed since he became a Christian.

He told the Daily Mirror: “Maturity has come with age but I give all credit to my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, who has humbled me and given me the mental standpoint of a man. I have finally grown up and come to understand what life is really about.”

Meanwhile, Fury entered the ring on Saturday wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with “I found Jesus” and claims he prays for his opponents before he fights.

The regular churchgoer told the Daily Star: “I try to do everything by the Bible. I’ve read testaments in church and I pray a lot. It’s the most important thing to me, more important than boxing.”

With probably the most apt name in boxing history, it seems appropriate to let Fury have the last word. In fact he sums up the ‘Christians in boxing’ debate quite succinctly.

“I don’t have a problem reconciling my religion with boxing,” he says. “God gives me the strength and belief to win.”

Read the full Tyson Fury story in Sorted November-December.